Have you ever noticed how some Moms seem to be very contented and confident in their role as Mothers, and others seem chronically stressed and approaching burnout? Why are some Moms unflappable and able to keep their sense of humor, while others overreact to the slightest stressors in their day?

I’m currently observing and interviewing these happy Moms as I conduct research for an upcoming book. While all Moms are different, these women usually have several of the following traits in common.

1) They keep it simple.
I know one Mom who grocery shops every two weeks and buys the exact same thing every time to prepare the same menu of 14 dinners. Why does she do this? She’s picked the family’s favorite meals for her menu to save herself time and arguments at the dinner table. Anyone with kids knows they like to eat the same things over and over! This Mom has decided not to reinvent the wheel twice a month. This is just one example of keeping it simple.

2) They teach their kids to be independent.
This doesn’t mean they leave them to their own devices all day. But a smart Mom knows that a 2 year old can put a dish in the dishwasher, a 4 year old can prepare his own peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and a 7 year old can sweep a floor (albeit imperfectly!). Call it “outsourcing” for Moms.

3) They drop the SuperMom complex.
Not sweating the small stuff seems to be a common trait of happy Moms. They learn to pick their battles. Getting buckled into a car seat? Not negotiable. Pink paisley pants with the orange plaid shirt? Fashion creativity.

Happy Moms also realize that being an awesome Mom doesn’t mean being a perfect Mom. ‘Nuff said.

4) They can often be overheard repeating the phrase “This too shall pass”.
It doesn’t mean that bothersome behavior in kids should be overlooked, for discipline is a huge time saver in the end. It means that Moms realize that children are…well, uncivilized creatures, and that much uncivilized behavior will simply go away on its own as the child matures. Smart Moms are also keenly aware of their child’s development and don’t expect more of them than they are able to give.

5) Smart Moms take care of themselves.
They don’t blame the baby for their extra weight when the baby in question is potty trained! They put emphasis on good nutrition, avoiding too much by way of stimulants (caffeine, sugar), they get adequate rest, and daily exercise. They realize that you can’t pour from an empty bucket.

6) They live in the moment.
Happy Moms realize that the days are long but the years short. It’s not that they are impervious to stress, it’s that they have learned to lower their expectations and be in the moment when things get difficult. When your toddler is puking all over the house, this is not the time to reorganize the hall closet. A sick day then turns into a time to create sweet memories of hours spent reading and cuddling on the couch.

7) They don’t worry about what others think.
Whether it’s the disapproving glare from the old lady in the checkout line, the Mother in law who is convinced you’re starving the baby by breastfeeding, or the Pediatrician whose medical advice strays into parenting advice, happy Moms learn not to give too much weight to the opinions of those who don’t live in their home.

In other words, they trust their instincts.
Whether it’s taking the baby to bed with them so they can get more sleep or taking a bullied child out of public school, smart Moms know that they are the expert of their own babies.

9) Happy Moms have “something else”
It may be a part time home based business or a hobby like belly dancing. These Moms know that some day their babies will fly the coop, and they make sure they have a passion that will give them purpose when that happens.

Women in the U.S. with fledgling Internet marketing businesses can obtain government assistance online to help their business grow.

Sometimes it seems that the world of Internet business is an entirely separate world from that of brick-and-mortar business. However, to the government all legitimate small businesses are equal. There are a wealth of publicly funded resources available to the female online entrepreneur. The question is, how to find them?

A good place to start the quest is at the Small Business Administration’s “MyBIZ for Women” site (http://www.sba.gov/women/). If you are just starting out in business they have materials that can help you focus your business plan and keep realistic expectations. If your online venture is getting serious and needs to grow, there are links to sources of funding from various loan programs. You may be able to find one that fits your situation.

Another excellent resource for women’s business information is the National Women’s Business Council (http://www.nwbc.gov/faq.html), with up-to-date news on programs for women in business. Examples include mentorship programs where women can gain business skills from experienced entrepreneurs, and certification programs that let you prove your business is woman-owned to help obtain funding.

The Department of Labor also maintains a website dedicated to “Women’s Entrepreneurship in the 21st Century” at (http://www.women-21.gov/). While it doesn’t appear to be the “one-stop shop for resources” that it’s front page claims, there are some very useful articles and links to be found within.

According to the S.B.A., woman-owned small businesses are being started at twice the average rate for all businesses! If you’re an American businesswoman looking for a little support, you may be surprised at the amount offered by Uncle Sam.

Ahhh, the Holidays…… The Thanksgiving turkey comes out of the oven golden brown, with an enticing aroma that fills the entire house. All the china is in pristine condition and not a single piece in the set is missing. The family is gathered for holiday pictures, the children are poised perfectly; hands to themselves, not a hair out of place and their smiles are shining brightly for the camera. Then just as the photographer is about to capture the shot… you wake up!

Let’s be realistic ladies. Without proper planning, the holidays are anything but a holiday. Just look at the list of things that need to be done: Shopping, cooking, cleaning, decorating, sending holiday mail, the list goes on and on.

Let me clue you all in on a few key questions that you should ask yourself in order to have a holiday season free of stress and worry, and instead filled with fun and laughter:

What types of holiday celebrations do you want? For example: Do you want to have an immediate family only holiday affair or an extravaganza including immediate and extended family plus a few friends? Once you’ve thought everything through and decided on the type of holiday gathering you would like, you can then start making your plans.

If you are ready to get a head start on organizing yourself, your family and your holiday check lists, then keep reading:

Holiday Cards: Start early! I use a holiday card list that I derive from saving names and addresses from holiday cards my family has received in past years. I created a simple, computerized list that is easy to edit and print onto address labels. Be sure to stock up on stamps so that when you have your cards signed, stuffed and addressed you can affix a stamp to them and make one, simple trip to the Post Office.
 
Holiday Gifts: There’s nothing like getting a HUGE credit card bill in the mail at the start of the New Year. Many of us tend to want to be generous when shopping for holiday gifts. While your generosity will be appreciated at gift giving time, keep in mind that it is very easy to succumb to “impulse buying” and go all out on your holiday shopping. While your intentions may be good, your pocketbook may be singing a different song. Set a budget and stick to it – your bank account will thank you for it after the start of the New Year.

Wrap it up: Wrap your gifts and place nametags on them immediately after you bring them home, then store the gifts in a secure spot. This will cut down on those late night wrapping sessions that I am sure we ALL have experienced a few times, if not every year.

Baking & cooking: If you will be cooking during the holidays, it is important to plan your meals ahead of time. Be sure to stock up ahead of time on all the necessary non-perishable baking ingredients such as flour, sugar and spices. Create a list of your holiday menus and a list of the ingredients you will need to prepare each of those meals. Also, try to think of a few dishes that can be prepared ahead of time and then frozen as an extra timesaving measure

Delegate: This is one of my favorite tips. Be sure to enlist the help of your family or friends. Sit down and discuss what needs to be done then ask for volunteers. If no hands are raised, simply assign small tasks to each of them. Whether it is arranging for a babysitter so that you can escape for a child free day of shopping, passing the shopping list onto another family member or friend so that they can pick up the items for you, or letting the children decorate your home. Be sure to get the whole family involved in the holiday preparations so that you will not be overwhelmed.

Enjoy: Whatever you decide to do, remember to relax and enjoy yourself. You and your family will have much fonder memories of this holiday season if you are not spending it pulling your hair out.

For moms who work from home, balancing the home and business sides of their lives can feel downright impossible, especially when the reason they began working from home was so they could spend more time with family. However, many home businesses actually fail because moms don’t manage to balance business and home life. How can you juggle your family’s needs, your business needs and occasionally find some time for your needs without being a super hero?

The first thing any mom should do to achieve balance is to get the family involved. If your children and husband support you, you will find that they interrupt less often and are more likely to pitch in to get household chores done. You’re probably thinking that will happen the day the moon turns to blue cheese, right? However, if you mention that you need to get a major project done and will be able to buy a pizza and rent a video when you are paid, you may be surprised at how quickly everyone pitches in to help out.

If you have young children, they may not be able to understand the concept of waiting for a reward. To get your younger children involved, try explaining what you are doing in very simple terms and having them help you. Set up a small desk or table for your toddlers and add crayons and paper so they can help you with your work by drawing some pictures or writing a letter. Children that are a bit older can put stamps on envelopes and seal them, paperclip papers together or do other simple organizational tasks.

Of course, no matter how supportive your family and friends are, they are not going to be happy if you work 15 hours a day. Make sure that you ask for uninterrupted time to do your job or run your business, but also make sure that you schedule time for your family and friends. While you are making up that schedule, don’t forget your significant other. If you sit at your computer all evening after the children are tucked away for the night, you may end up with some serious relationship issues!

Once your family and friends are involved and you’ve scheduled time for them in your life, it is time to consider a few ways to make the most of your valuable work time. While you may be tempted to work non-stop during the time you have dedicated to your business, you should actually try to take some breaks. Taking a half-hour walk or having lunch away from your desk can really help you recharge your mind and keeps your body from growing stiff and tired. When you sit back down, you can do so with a clearer view of your goals and fresh energy and focus.

Also, don’t be afraid to make a “to do” list for your business. Write the four or five items you absolutely must do on your list and promise yourself that you will get them done before you visit your favorite forums or check your email. This can really help you get more work accomplished in less time.

So, although you may not have super powers, you can still have a home life, a business life and some time for yourself. The next time you are feeling overwhelmed, take a deep breath, ask your family for some help and try out a few of these great ideas for balancing your life.

When you’re a hard working mom with a Direct Sales business it’s very easy to find one day that life is completely out of balance with the scales tipped deep toward the business and everything else hanging on to the other end for dear life. Because I have seen many a mom burn out of direct sales as a result of this chaotic unbalance, I want to encourage you, Direct Sales Mom, to find a Sabbath rest for yourself and your business.

A while back our family decided, rather radically, to take the truth of a Sabbath rest seriously, mostly because we believe the 10 commandments are still that – commandments. And since the fourth commandment of “remember the Sabbath Day to keep it Holy” falls between the third and fifth commandments it’s just as valid as “Thou shalt not commit adultery”.

This wasn’t as easy as it sounds. It was, however, one of the most freeing things I’ve ever done personally and direct sales-wise. Before it’s time to hit the pillow on Saturday night, I make a deliberate effort to make sure all “work” is done and shut down the computer until Monday. My voice mail message, my email and my instant message programs all are automatically set to respond with something like, “Sorry I missed you. I’ll get back to you on Monday.”

Imagine, a whole day, spent in rest and enjoyment. No thinking about my direct sales business. No “to do” lists. No endless emails, checking inventory, filing paperwork, making up hostess packets. Nothing at all having to do with work.

Even if you’re not one who believes in the bible, that just makes a whole bunch of sense. Your family needs to you take a rest from the work. Your customers need you to refresh for 24 hours so you can serve them with gusto starting again on Monday morning. YOU need the break to renew your mind, however that looks for you, and to take time to smell the flowers… or even plant them if that’s relaxing for you.

The focus of the biblical command is that of holiness…focusing your mind for that whole period on God and His glory. I have to admit, that is still a struggle for me. I fight to keep my mind at rest and I still spend much of my Sunday thinking about what I’m going to do on Monday. But I can’t even describe how wonderful it is to not even have the option to act on it. Instead of running up to my computer “just one more time”, I can take a nap. Instead of mulling over a design for a flyer, planning my next party or answering downline emails, I can read the bible or another great book… one that has nothing to do with Direct Sales, downline management, business building ideas or sales tactics!

And you know what else? On Monday morning I get up ready to hit it hard. Yes, my inbox is full of emails, but it’s a delight to look through them, actually read them instead of skimming, and answer with a refreshed mind. My family is happy, my customers are happy, I am happy… and I like to think that God is pleased at my efforts as well.